jim carrey’s girlfriend killed herself, she was 28

suicide is a weird deal man. you dont see it coming. and then its there.

i know, and you know, someone who had tried to commit suicide. we were so in love. she was at the top of her peak of happiness. and she was just 21.

everything was going beautifully but secretly, deep down, she was saying to herself, “my life has sucked so bad that i want to go out on top and im so happy right now and this joy will soon disappear that i want to end it before that happens.”

and she drove up a mountain and thought about driving her car off a cliff. but someone was there.

and she went home and saw a huge bottle of cleaning fluid, called me, left a message saying she was going to see me at dinner. and that she loved me. then she hung up and drank a giant Super Big Gulp cup of the fluid and fell asleep, thinking that she would never wake up again.

the good news was she did wake up again and she called me and we rushed her to the hospital and she miraculously lived.

things did not go as well for jim carrey’s on-again off-again girlfriend, Cathriona White. it appears that the pills she took did her in, and she did not wake up.

we never really know whats going on in the heads of others. even those we are so close to. even those whose eyes we stare into and examine every strafe. trying to peer into the darkness of the pupils.

we can talk and talk and talk but who knows what theyre not saying, who knows what theyre seeing when we think theyre seeing what we’re seeing.

but no one sees what we’re seeing.

holding hands is the sweetest thing but even thats not true. we are not together. we are still miles away. our hands are touching but whats going on in that head? what thoughts are spinning through the mind?

and what is the devil whispering. constantly. eerily. relentlessly.

what is the soundtrack repeating?

is it good? is it hopeful? is it uplifting?

or is it saying all the saddest negative nonsense it can muster?

does that endless drumbeat of past gloom pound softly in our soul

striking at the worst moments

thumping when we should be laughing

slicing us with a million cuts?

its too bad the pope is gone because we need someone here in LA to remind us that this weird little rat race is for the birds. birth school work death was a song, not a path.

we are here for a brief special guest appearance to enhance the bigger spectacle and

to be reflections of heavenly love.

when we obsess over what we want, how things are supposed to be for our lives, we can slide off the path of helpfulness and into selfishness. and that cul-de-sac will only lead to wanting more and more and becoming unsatisfied.

try to remember the last time you were unsatisfied while helping someone else.

cant.

so today, i invite you to go out of your way to help someone

in honor of Cathriona

and love will have the last word.

sat in the parking lot of a 7-11 last night with the windows rolled down

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eating a doritos taco from taco bell. pretty girl next to me ate popcorn.

we were listening to van halen because for some reason her “school” hadnt taught her about eddie van halen, david lee roth, alex van halen and michael anthony from chicago.

she asked me for a primer on the band before we go and see them this weekend and i was all, wow where do i start?

i guess its gotta be van halen one and eruption which lead into their kinks cover and aint talkin bout love. but what about running with the devil? gotta throw that in there.

and the sweet Ice Cream Man with its suprise ending.

next we move to van halen II with dance the night away and beautiful girls

at this point i couldnt tell if she was getting it or bored.

im a boring person. so are summer nights in the 80s at 11pm.

women and children first gave us the turbo jet guitar sounds of “and the cradle will rock” and the jungle drums in “everybody wants some” and who could pass over “could this be magic” which includes the title of the album.

we never made it to fair warning because im irresistible and she had to drop her popcorn and make out with me next to the huge sign advertising a large pizza inside the 7-11 for $6.

yes, $6.

i was so ready to tell her about 1984 with jump, panama, hot for teacher, drop dead legs, and ill wait, which to me is the end of the van halen story

but rarely do people want to know when a good tale pretty much ended over 30 years ago.

way back before this pretty girl was even borned.

the nexus chilled with the nexus yesterday and all was well

several eras of the daily nexus ate pizza, drank, and chatted with each other. some of us gave advice.

my advice to the kids: stop going to classes, break up with your boyfriends and girlfriends, quit your jobs and devote the rest of your college life to the Nexus. they laughed, but i wasnt kidding.

barb and elspeth were there with hugs for me to give to jeanine which was very nice. barb let us know that the desks that were still in the office were rejects from AS from the 70s.

current EIC Emile, former EIC Amy and Barb posed while Todd Francis did his best Grumpy Cat

the Babes of the Nexus posed in front of all of the bound editions that told our whole story

the UCen was open and had some weird propaganda poster AS IF the kids dont know where the bookstore is

Michelle and Doug hadn’t seen each other in decades someone told me, but that cant be true, but maybe it can be since Dougie has been in Prague since the 90s and Michelle has been in Mexico, FLA, Minnesota and now back in Cali.

i told the current Nexus editors that i wasnt kidding: quit everything, dedicate your life to rock n roll and you too can wind up a bald man with clashing plaids and the greatest friends in the world. i also told them they need to be Periscoping the F outta DP and UCSB and that little bit of advice i have a feeling they might actually accept.

in summary, even though it was delightful turnout, dont you think Nexus reunions should be about 50x more people? am i the only one who was touched forever by this amazing newspaper? if this was a football school we would have shown up for the dumb football team, but it’s a newspaper school. the best in all the land. yes it was fantastic that my era showed up in big numbers but what about all the other eras? have they all forgotten about where they came from? it’s a mystery to me.

afterwards i went to the bookstore to get some ucsb swag and i got a text that joe kovach was on the phone at the office and wanted to talk to me. so i dropped everything and ran back across Storke Plaza and wow, i hadnt talked to him in a verrrry long time. he told me kudos for this and that and i told him kudos right back joe. i feel like we should buy a coke machine that dispenses little 10 oz bottles so he can keep it stocked. seeing him do that back in the day was one of my favorite memories.

later the kids told me about some of the party games that they play now and it made me very happy.

this was a good weekend

ate sushi with a pretty girl who let me hold her hand in the uber

saw a rap legend pull off performance art with a different pretty girl whos never looked better

drove up the prettiest coast in the whole wide world on a lazy sunday in a luxury vehicle

arrived at the worlds greatest college newsroom and people knew my name

laughed at some of the best jokes in said newsroom delivered by the great todd francis

ate in n out while driving home at high rates of speed as the sun set

and the super moon prepared to be eclipsed.

we will all be eclipsed said the moon

it’s the perfect time for a costume change

kanye west played the hollywood bowl last night

it wasnt just any show, he did “808 and Heartbreaks” all the way through, with an orchestra and chorus

why? it wasnt an anniversary, he hadnt just released a remix, it wasnt like he just won an award for it.

KANYE DID IT BECAUSE KANYE WANTED TO DO IT

and he made it snow while he was doing it. even though it was close to 90 degrees up in the beautiful canyon.

it was weird and wonderful and a lot like a fashion show and an art show and a greek drama and what it must have felt like for the jews when Moses delivered his Sermon on the Mount, except funkier and with a cast of thousands.

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with guest stars sexy C3P0 lady + spinning stairs to nowhere + starring ladies who just stared

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and very special guests Autotune and random Fireworks

thank you Bree for thinking of me when you realized you had an extra golden ticket

that was so funnnnnnnnn!

on this day on the busblog in history: 9/26

2001: today i hate the bus. today i want to get a car. today i want to flush out everything bad in my life. i want to flush everything that isnt perfect out of my life. i want to earn twice as much, i want to wear half as less. i want to grow my hair twice as big and dye it red or just bleach it. im not happy. i was late to work.

2002: do i, sometimes, have a hard time accepting Really Good in my life?

no.

not me.

2003: tsar came down from the heavens last night in eastern hollywood to deliver the good news and layeth the smackdown and they cranked their shit to eleven and pretty much busted the eardrums of anyone within the first fifty rows and i just stood there like heston infront of the burning bush turning grey overnight and i have seen the light and its letters flash t s a r, for the big bad wolf is knocking at your door modern rock alternative radio and he has dyed his hair shit brown and hes coming for whats his and you better give it up or he’ll spin that fckr to twelve.

2004: there was a time when when people talked about the xbi they talked about guys without vests on, without nightvision, and without fear. guys so tough they wrote their phone numbers on the ass cheeks of the worst guys they caught, so when the cops found them hogtied and defeated they would know who to thank.

2005: so the little bird, the baby bird, so tiny it had yet become blue did what any little bird would, he walked into the forrest

and hid in the shadows.

until he fell asleep,

shivering in his own sweat.

2006: now i write you from tom’s living room in Pittsfield, MA after watching his tivo and drinking his children’s apple juice. western mass is gorgeous and sunny and americana to the maxima. i want to put it in a pie and eat it.

2007:  well according to these records you wouldnt have seen the weekend if we hadnt intervened.

he reverse esped her to see if he could.

nothing in there is true.

and she injected the venom and it felt cold after a minute and then warm and then shocking.

2008: the edison is so popular on weekend nights that they wont let you in if you dont have a collar on your shirt or if you have jeans (if youre a dude), or if your not super hot (if youre a babe). ok that last part might not be 100% true but it sure seems like it.

2009: the day katie couric destroyed glenn beck’s career

2010: went to the Sound of Music singalong with the truest

2011: first lets talk about the crazy ass stuff i have seen at McDonalds here in Quebec.

the beheaded Ronald McDonalds asking for money was a petite troubling but it didnt stop me from eating francais fries

Ok, now someone asked whats a Quarter Pounder called in French. The answer….

2012: canada reared its beautiful head into baseball news today when cy young winner

eric gagne from pots and pans protest montreal quebec told espn

that 80 percent of his teammates out here in LA were taking illegal performance enhancing drugs. this from a man who himself admitted to taking illegal substances in order to compete.

when the news came out several bloggers emailed me asking that i wouldnt squeal on them.

human growth hormones of course are part of the blogosphere what with repetitive strain injuries, carpal tunnel, and writers block, it isnt easy to maintain a prolific and profitable life as a blogger.

thus drugs are tempting.

2013: but it is hard to look at a kickass swimming pool

or a shiny car with a Star Wars dashboard

or a puppy smoking a cigar with a kitten being dealt blackjack by a baby mule with a garter around his bicep

and not say, why yes, I want that.

2014: two things: why is it that our electrical grid is so sensitive that entire states can be wiped out due to human error?

and how come the second busiest airport in america can be crippled because of one stinking fire?

aaron asks, i have abandonment issues, please help

Dear Tony,

Kind Aaron,

we all have our own quirks. hers might have nothing to do with you. on the other hand she might really hate you and can never figure out a way to blow you off properly.

sometimes we men will catch a lady unaware with a request and they will say yes without thinking. but then when they get home they’ll realize “wait a sec, i hate this person. he’s fugly, he smells like cheetos, his house is always dirty, his cats are annoying, his taste in music is for shit, he cant hold a conversation to save his life, and he cant please me at all. why did i say yes to see van halen with him?”

and then they’ll email you and say lets party in five months instead.

it’s at that time that you should know that it’s not abandonment issues that you should work on, it’s your body. you probably have a big belly or wear terrible clothes. go to the gym aaron! get a nordstrom charge card! by some Affliction long sleeve shirts for god sake! cut your hair! get a sellout job that destroys the earth and humanity!

CANT YOU SEE THE WRITING ON THE WALL?!?!

you are unwanted. and you will remain that way forevers.

go to the show by yourself. sit there and quietly mouth the lyrics to all of your favorite songs and sip out of a plastic bottle of water.

do not cry.

somewhere there is someone who would never cancel on you.

why would they? you are aaron from the internet.

you have a new shirt!

you will be fine.

enjoy the silence.

Christina Marrocco, who i first met in grade school, maybe first grade, asks

What are the three top ills of Old Chicago, and I don’t mean the defunct amusement park in Bolingbrook.

the rides were too tame, the lines were too long, and even though it was great that it was an indoor amusement park – oh wait NOT the fun Old Chicago, the real Old Chicago.

ok lets start with the weather. it was either way too hot or way too cold or way too rainy or just overall cruddy.

it’s like God wanted to punish the good people of Chicago for some sins they committed a super long time ago.

Richard Pryor used to joke about the wind, how it would wait for you around the corner and mug you as you were crossing the street and beat you down. but to me the wind figured out a way to get under your clothes. it was like mist. it could get through every strand of of fabric and then slap your skin with coldness.

if that wind was love instead of evil no one would ever move away. but alas…

then we’ve got the narrow mindedness. which is odd because your typical midwesterner of Old Chicago times had a heart of gold. theyd talk to you. theyd listen to you. theyd understand. but somehow theyd stop understanding.

was it racism? ignorance? foolishness? hard to say.

but i’ll tell you one thing that didnt help the situation then and doesnt help it now: the segregation. chicago is a city of neighborhoods but theyre all color coordinated. it’s ridiculous. even in the burbs you’ll see whole towns of blacks next to whole towns of people from India, next to whole towns of whites. wtf!?!?

the wind hates us all equally, people!

it’s almost as if the assbackwardness from southern illinois floats the wrong way up the mississip and infects chicago and spreads everywhichway. i blame the white sox.

finally the music. i dont know what it’s like now, but Old Chicago used to have the worst bands. God bless Cheap Trick, REO and Styx but when California got The Eagles, Chicago got Chicago.

uh, no thanx.

john boehner, quitter, failure, fake tanner, crier

over 50 times john boehner, while speaker of the house tried to repeal Obamacare

over 50 times it failed.

youd think after two times of trying to overturn something that Americans wanted, and was declared law, and was proved to be Constitutional youd think youd give up

but no, boehner plodded on, never quitting.

today he quit everything: being speaker, being a congressman, being a cockblocker.

america has never seen a congress who has tried so hard to impede the progress of one president.

did the fact that president was (half) black have anything to do with it?

of course not.

racism is over.

especially not-so-subtle political branded racism.

but the funny thing about all types of bizarre hate and mischief is it rarely works in the long term.

obama was able to pass obamacare, and gay marriage, and the iran deal, and so much of what he wanted to pass. sometimes easily. it was almost as if the cock blockers werent even there.

confederate flag: gone. relations with cuba: normalized. stock market: booming. deficit: reducing

all the nightmare scenarios that the GOP swore would happen if Obama was elected never came true despite the fact they shut down the government, filibustered, and did everything they could to make this president a failure.

instead everything is up except gas prices.

and now the speaker of the house is quitting midstream. because he knows it’s useless to shake your fist at the sun.

it may have been morning in america in 1980 but its sunny now.

this nations tears are drying thus theres no need for john boehner

so adios amigos. say hello to heaven.

phil shelly asks what is the meaning of life?

theres this video game i play where every now and then it will say

if you dont commit any turnovers for the rest of this quarter, we’ll give you a bonus

throughout the game you werent even thinking about turnovers till they brought it up

youd just be wheeling and dealing, doing your thing and if you committed a turnover, whatevs

but now all of a sudden you have to think about them.

and the funny thing is, i get the bonus about half of the time that it’s offered.

something that is very poor, if you ask me.

to me, the meaning of life is to be able to look back

and see how many turnovers youve had after you realized that they really matter

to me life is about playing the game and not being a negative part of it.

because if youre not being negative, youre probably being positive if youre truly playing.

to me, you commit less turnovers when you focus, prepare,

and have your heart in whats best for everyone,

not just yourself.

to me the meaning of life is to play the game with honor

and earn that damn bonus.

last night i saw something i never saw ever in my whole time in LA

i was at a fabulous book release party for your girl AJ whose new book is called “Woman On Fire” which you can pre-order right now and it will arrive next week.

we were on the rooftop of the Standard hotel in downtown LA.

i was advised before i arrived that the rooftop bar has rules against baseball hats and any other sports-related clothing.

which is really just code for, well, you know what it’s code for.

so i left my Cubs hat at home, however if it wasnt for AJ i would have said f-you, the standard, this is america, i love the Cubs and ive lived perfectly well never returning to Harvard & Stone for their similar dress code.

arrive, dont get carded because i look old, wait for the elevator, and hear the security guard tell a guy he cant go to the roof because he’s wearing flip flops. and i think, Jesus wore sandals, are you telling me the Messiah wouldnt be allowed up there neither?

make it to the top and notice a super hot woman looking at her phone. then right away a guy who looked a shlubby as me taps her on the shoulder and says, “mandy?” she says, “hi fred.” and they dont hug, they just go to the elevator and go down.

i was all, i think i just saw a hooker and a john!

and america, i saw that same scene two or three other times last night on that rooftop. the same rooftop where you are not allowed to support your baseball team because that rooftop is so fucking classy.

it did have great views and it was fantastic hanging with AJ and i believe i gave her a good idea about how to market her book in a way that literally involves fire.

got a couple tacos on 7th street, took the subway home, and passed out with my pants on.

on this day on the busblog

2001: me and this girl i work with were talking about True Hollywood Stories. We edit the closed-captions so that the deaf, hearing-impared, and hotties working out in the gym can keep up with the daliances of the famous. my co-worker said the other day, “you know you have a rough life when it’s only the year 2000 and your THS is only half-way done.”

2002: a gaggle of cheerleaders bum rushed my back door as I was taking out the trash last night to my surprise. they had picnic baskets with tasty foods, thermoses full of tangy fruit drinks and wines, bales of hay and trick ropes for entertainment, and of course pom-poms and silly string and ecstasy and chewing gum.

2003: jlo and ben got hitched in georgia my space watch tells me and i gave it the tivo triple red thumbs down cuz i dont care about that sort of news cuz i would make a far better beau to jlo than benlow, i wouldnt go to any damn strip clubs unless i was a judge at the jlo lookalike stripalike contest and one day there will be a wishingwell and there will be a penny and there wil be a dream and there will be a toss and it will flip in the air fly through the sky splash in the pond and sparkle my eye and everything will fall in place and she will see my face and not look away but instead say stay.

2004: i am going to the pixies concert in about 20 minutes. it should last a few hours. when i come home i want you to be there. i will make sure that i am alone.

2005: Its fine filmmaking, great writing, interesting characters, and best of all, some of the scariest eviliest bad guys you’ll ever run across. They rape you, kill you, eat you, and then sew your skin onto their clothes.

2006: its 229pm im hungover. im still in yesterdays clothes. pitt was nice enough to let me crash at his pad last night. the best thing is i got to sleep on a regulation canadian army cot. i knew id sleep well on it but i didnt know id sleep THAT great. i had vivid beautiful dreams that nearly compared to the vivid beautiful reality of last night starring two chinese twins who covered their mouths as they laughed to my dirty jokes.

2007: 17. I pretty much hate any picture I’m in.
18. I love writing every day because I once had a teacher that said that noone can write well every day.
19. I’ve met a lot of wonderful amazing people, but no one as great as my mom.

2008: we at the Times are thrilled and still a little stunned that out of 100 million blogs we have one in the technorati top 100, meanwhile those little kitties are still mopping the floor with us no matter how much marketing, no matter how much support, no matter what we cover, no matter how great our writers are. that frigging kitteh blog is just lulzing its way to teh banks.

2009: had a great night last night, great flight, great dinner. but first lets review some of the chicago trip through the magic of photographs:

2010: the winner of the cuteness award goes to the puppy

2011: who the hell are we to even call ourselves “americans”. south americans dont call themselves that, central americans dont either, and our fellow north americans – the canadians – sure as hell dont have the gall neither.

2012: Billie Joe gets pissed off at the iHeart Radio concert, swears, smashes guitar and then goes to rehab

2013: for a very long time i had a bruce springsteen poster over my bed.

2014: twenty years ago today i saw Pulp Fiction on opening night with stacy goodner

it was really a matter of time

when you drive thousands of rides of course you’re going to reach someone who has access to writing tools

and theyre gonna write about you.

i remember the ride very well.

it was up in the hills of beverly hills, someplace i would avoid nowadays because often it doesnt pan out.

but i was already up in there, having just dropped off another.

four girls, graduating high school seniors, all leaving one party and going to another.

they “made a rap” for me as i drove them down into the valley, heading to encino

even though it was a twisty, dark road, somehow a video was made.

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and now a sweet blog post

yr welcome bb

the only thing im sad i missed when i was in chicago was the hollywood vampires

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i mean, come on

dont you know you can fly?

because it’s nearly impossible in LA to get a proper sweet potato pie, i will say the dutch apple pie at the house of pies in los feliz with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and a tall glass of chocolate milk

Chicago people wear the jerseys of the teams that they love.

LA people are healthier

Chicago people are happier

when, during a punt, the punting team runs all the way to the goal line and the ball bounces on the one yard line and it’s headed to the goal line and one of the guys from the punting team leaps toward the goal line and dives at the ball and pushes it back and his teammate is waiting at the two and catches it and it doesnt get ruled a touchback.

The Beatles were a hero to most but they didn’t mean shit to me. Music would have been fine without the Beatles, maybe better. But rock and roll needed Elvis, most importantly Vegas Elvis. Lennon and Harrison would have been fine solo. The Clash were way more important.

You know I’ve never seen that movie.

I’m not sure, it’s just one of a long list of classic films I have yet to see. I should make a list.

The Cubs will shock the world by beating Pittsburg in the Wild Card, sweeping the Cardinals and then sweeping the Dodgers. They’ll go seven with Toronto in a series that will see the Cubs ultimately winning due to the fact that because so much of the team is so young no one knows how to pitch against them. It’s a Cinderella story.

I do the instagram and tumblr for the Academy. Some random stuff behind the scenes of our site. I also write on the site, manage the snapchat and medium and occasionally tweet and facebook. at night i eat half chicken dinners with runway models or drive people around in my uber mercedes. but what i really want to do is direct.

coffee’s for closers.

Alyson Shane How do you know when you’ve found “the one”?

when you’ve stopped sexting Rob Ford

Mark Hargrove, The Human Rain Delay

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I liked that Laverne had an “L” embroidered on all of her tops.

Foolishly

Last week in Chicago was heavenly for me.  But every day in LA is a dream.

Lyft.  Technology rarely rewards the originators for very long. If you recall IBM and Xerox started this gangster shit. Then Microsoft had so much of the marketshare for software that people murmured that they should be broken up. All of that seems ridiculous now that Apple and Google have become so successful. But before there was Apple there was Dell and before Google was Yahoo. Everyone gets leapfrogged. The odds are very bad that Uber will be the top dog once ridesharing kicks into second gear.

Tim Sullivan favorite drink … i mean, aside from Old Style?

Coke. It’s given me four kidney stones but I love it.  One day I will just have a sink that spits out Coke on the right and Diet Coke on the left.

If I was a Canadian I would be so into it, but I am a black man from Chicago, so it’s Yahoo Fantasy Hoops. Details on that league to come…

Ben Welsh Do you know the importance of a skypager?

Q-Tip always seemed too intellectual to me. Not enough feeling. Not enough soul. It was all in his head. Not really contrived but where’s the emotion? I have the same problem with BDP.

There’s a reason the Rocky Road is the tastiest.

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